Dr. Glenn Latham did the research for the classroom management portion of the handbook and online training, he was a behavior analyst and a parenting specialist. He relates this story in his book: The Power of Positive Parenting. This story is a powerful illustration of the importance of treating students with respect.
“I’m reminded of an experience I had a few years ago working with the dormitory parents of a Bureau of Indian Affairs off-reservation boarding school. A 17-year-old boy in one of the dorms was particularly troublesome. He was moody, sometimes violent, and “always” obnoxious and non-compliant. Referring to methods discussed in this [Substitute Teacher Handbook] book, I made a few simple and very basic suggestions.
The dorm attendant actually laughed out loud at what I had proposed.
He said, “Man, if I did that, he’d kill me. He doesn’t understand anything but brute force. The only way you control that kid is with this!” as he displayed a clenched fist and a bulging muscular arm.
I said, “Has that improved his behavior? Is he a nicer boy, a happier boy?” The dorm attendant, supported by responses from the other 64 people in the group, assured me that things weren’t any better, “But at least it keeps him in line.”
I appealed to him: “Look,” I said, “If what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked or hasn’t made things any better, do me a favor and just try what I’ve suggested. You have nothing to lost. Humor me. Okay?” He agreed.
“The next morning as the group was convening, the dorm attendant was uncharacteristically early. He made a beeline for me and said, “Let’s get started right away. I have something to tell these people.”
I had hardly gotten the group to order when, without invitation, the fellow jumped to his feet and said, “Hey, you guys. Be quiet. I have something to tell you. I did what Dr. Latham told me to do. What I really wanted to do was kill the kid, but I didn’t. He waited around for me to get mad, or something. But I didn’t. I just waited for an opportunity to be nice to him when he did something good. When I did, he looked at me kind of funny and just stood there – looking at me. I didn’t know what else to do, so I just stood there looking back, then I put my arm around his shoulders and gave him a hug. I told him there were some things about him I really liked. Tears came to his eyes, and there was no expression at all on his face. Then he said, “Do you mean there is hope for me after all?”and he put his arms around me and we just stood there holding each other. Man, it was like a miracle. I couldn’t believe what was happening.”
No miracles, just good behavior management skills.”