There will be times when it is required that you speak to a student one on one about their inappropriate behavior. Each time I had to talk to a student one on one, I would get so nervous about what to say. There were times when I talked so long that the student checked out of the conversation. There were also times when I didn’t discuss the concerns long enough so that the student could make any changes to the behavior.
When talking to a student individually about their inappropriate behavior, what should you say? In the research that I’ve done to find out the best way to handle this, I have found that there are six things you will need to address while redirecting a student. They are:
- Say something positive.
- Briefly describe the problem behavior.
- Describe the desired alternative behavior.
- Give a reason why the new behavior is more desirable.
- Check for clarity/practice the desired behavior.
- Provide positive feedback.
I like this outline because the discussion starts and ends with positive statements. I have found that when starting with something positive, students put their defense down. We could then have more of a discussion of the problem and agree on the best solution. Not only did this keep the student’s emotions in control, but my own as well. I found that I could remain calm while having this difficult conversation.
My challenge to you this week is to follow this format when talking to a student one on one. Practice beforehand the format of this conversation while you are in the shower or driving so that when the time comes, the discussion will go smoothly.